Children Care Was Here

When naming a new program, you may be wondering whether to include “daycare” or “child care” in your program’s name.  When choosing a name for this site, we also had to make a choice between the two terms.  After some research and thought about what kind of content we wanted to include, we decided to name our site “Childcare Central” and not “Daycare Central.”  Currently, the term “daycare” is more commonly used than “child care.”  However, the term “daycare” is beginning to be used more and more often to refer not only to child daycare, but also to adult daycare, animal daycare, and daycare for the disabled.  Because of this shift, you may choose to refer to your program as a child daycare or you may choose not to use the term “daycare” at all.  For the time being, “daycare” is still an acceptable choice and is probably not going to disappear anytime soon.

The term “child care” (“childcare” is also correct) is a good choice because it refers specifically to children.  While “child care” is a broad term that includes child daycare it is also used to refer to care provided by a babysitter, nanny, or even a family member.  Therefore, if you are talking to someone about “child care,” you may still have to specify exactly what you mean.  You always have the option of choosing not to include “daycare” or “child care” in your program’s name.  Instead, you can use preschool, nursery school, or a variety of other names that do not require you to specify what type of care you provide. However, you should be cautious not to choose a name that is too general because prospective parents may have difficulty figuring out what type of care you provide.

Self-Esteem is a word often used in connection with good mental health, but rarely is it explained how we get poor self-esteem and how we cultivate good self-esteem. Good self-esteem means to hold oneself in high esteem, feeling worthy of a good life and good treatment by others. Good self-esteem helps protect children from the traps they are exposed to growing up in our modern society.

How to Build Self-Esteem

• Accept your child as a separate human being with emotions that are important. Allow them to have their own feelings and express them. Listen to their feelings as much as what they say and paraphrase it back to them. Being an empathetic parent develops an empathetic child who will then grow into being an empathetic adult that is sensitive to others and is capable of good relationships.
• Praise your child for what they do well. Sometimes parents refrain from praise because they fear their child will get a big ego. That is not the case, children are anxious to learn what to do right and by your praise you give them guidance and approval. Respond to their successes with small celebrations and comfort and encourage them when they fail.
• Tell your children you love them just the way they are and hug them often. Remember children hear your tone of voice more than your words, so speak to them with respect and loving kindness.
• Children learn from the examples in their life, telling them what to do is not nearly as effective as being a good example and a positive role model. Children learn respect by observation, show them and others respect and they will follow your example.
• Start your child learning developmentally appropriate decision making skills, start with letting them pick between a few choices of which toy they will take in the car with them, and then as they get older choices about what to wear, on a cold day allow them to pick between two warm outfits and as they get older widen the choices so that they will be able to pick out their own outfits. As they mature more complex decisions will lead to more in depth decision making conversations that include the possible choices and the consequences, costs, advantages and disadvantages of each choice. In the process allow them to make mistakes that are harmless so that they can learn from mistakes also.
• When disciplining them differentiate the behavior from the child. Do not label the child with name calling, but you might say, “I didn’t like it when you ______” rather than “You are really stupid.”
• Talk with them about their day, listen and ask questions with interest. Have them read to you and show you their school work.
• Get your children involved in healthy activities like sports, music and dance. Attend their activities.
• Don’t lean on your children emotionally and have them take care of you. Allow them to lean on you for support.
• Let them know what is expected of them in social situations but don’t make them act like little adults in every situation.

Self Respect

Self esteem results from self respect and respect from others. Self respect includes competence, confidence, mastery, achievement, independence and freedom. Respect from others includes recognition, acceptance, status, and appreciation. Healthy self-esteem is a realistic appraisal of one’s capacities and begins with deserved respect from others.

When these needs are not met, a child grows up feeling discouraged, weak and inferior. He or she is then vulnerable to finding other ways of being accepted outside of the family and is then susceptible to looking for acceptance from other groups like gangs and is vulnerable to peer pressure and acquiring feelings of acceptance through sex, drugs and alcohol.

Positive self-esteem means having confidence, a child knows who they are in the world and does not have to fit in to be accepted. Encourage them toward college and career. When children feel confident and capable growing up and hold a vision of a satisfying future they are less likely to get into trouble that could prevent them from reaching their goals in life.

In applying these principles to raising children during stressful times might include:

1. Shield your child from overly harsh conditions, that is, excessive emotional expression, otherwise known as adult “melt-downs.”

2. Make sure your child is getting plenty of good healthy food and exercise.

• While they may get junk food at school, rid your home of such foods as much as possible.
• Have weekly junk-food raids and throw out chips, cookies, candy etc. that get brought in by various factions.
• After dinner, bundle up and take an evening walk with your child.Keep the conversation “positive” on your end, point out he beautiful sunset, talk about natural forces and make comparisons to how storms clear up and then the sun comes out.
• If they bring up concerns, ask questions first to understand them (crucial), then address their concern (not yours). Then ask them to summarize what you’ve discussed so you can be sure you know the conclusions they are taking to bed.

3. While parental arguments are likely to be increased during stressful times, let your children see both sides.

• If you’ve shown them your angry side, be sure to show that how to make peace and resume your loving, caring ways with your partner.
• If you can’t find resolution with your partner, have the courage to see a counselor, a spiritual adviser, or a family elder and ask for direction.
• Above all, put aside your pride, get help to make peace in your home and show your children that stress does not need to result in weeks of a parent sleeping on the sofa.

4. No matter what – do not pull children into disagreements with other parent(s).

• Let them be children and stay out of it until the issue is resolved.
• If they try to step in (and the usually will) politely ask them to let the adults resolve it with statements such as, “We’ll let you know when we need your help. Right now, this is an adult issue and we will figure it out. You’ll be the first to know what we decide.”
• If the issue involves them, well – that’s a whole different matter. Bedtime might be such an issue, or a curfew and school performance.
• One way to calm things down with children is to slow them down. Getting input on paper helps slow things down. Get your children’s ideas and suggestions in writing.It will lower the noise level in the room, which will help calm everyone.
• Writing will force everyone to focus, which pulls energy into thinking rather than just feeling. Writing will help kids get clear in their mind, practice their language skills and be more realistic than when they are allowed to shout out their emotional desires.
• Adults then can gather all written proposals, review them carefully, and keep plenty of time to “decide.”
• When you decide, let them win the smaller isses and make sure you win the larger issues. Conceeding with smaller issues lets them know that they have a voice, they can exert personal power and have some control over some things. More control leads to less anxiety. If they get to eat corn instead of green beans, what do you care?
• Meanwhile, continue with the daily or evening routine and schedule a time to resume talks about the anxiety-producing topic.

5. If your children get exposed to adult outbursts of emotion, explicit television-based emotion, or other unpredictable triggers for excessive nervous system reactivity, do what you can to come back around and “cover them.”

• Cover your children with consistent daily and bedtime routines that include soothing and comforting statements.
• Mention your concern and love for them, and remind them that they can count on you even if you too, are frightened.
• Most of all, they need to know that you are there, they can hang onto you, and you will protect them. Your presence is crucial, whether it is your physical or simply your emotional focus on them.

The personality of a person can be defined as a set of qualities, beliefs, feelings, thoughts, attitudes, emotions and ideas that distinguish him from others. Since very many years social scientists have been trying to find the reasons why people behave the way they do and how the personalities shape up. There is a wide spread belief that if the factors responsible for shaping up a person’s personality are controlled, right in the childhood itself, a person can have a desired, well rounded personality. The following Buzzle article discusses some beliefs similar to these by looking at how personality development in children takes place.

Social and Personality Development in Children

There are some theories which say that the personality of an individual is directly linked to genes. However, then why do siblings develop a completely different personality? No one has yet found an answer to this question. Then there is another theory which says that it is the environment to which a child is subjected that makes up his personality. A child’s parents, teachers, friends, acquaintances, his home environment, his school environment – all these have a great influence in shaping his personality. Lastly, the kind of experiences a person has, as a child, teen or a young adult, play a major role in determining his reactions, his feelings, his emotional make-up and the way he behaves.

Parental Influence…
Out of all the factors responsible for personality development in children, parental influence is the most important one. The way the parents behave with the child, how much he is allowed to socialize, the kind of culture he is subjected to by them, and the emotional make-up of his parents, all these have a great bearing on the child’s mental growth. In early childhood, all children ape their parent’s mannerisms. Children learn a lot about socialization from the way their parents interact with their friends, neighbors, acquaintances, etc. If the parents are social, the same traits will most probably be imbibed in the children. Thus, parents should take care to become good role models and provide the child with the best environment, where he gets ample opportunities to develop his personality.

Home Environment…
The first time a child begins to understand his emotions, is through his mother. A child learns about love, care, support and help, through her. Thereafter, he develops various kinds of emotions, both positive as well as negative. Happiness, fear, anxiety, jealousy, anger and shyness – a child starts displaying all these. Again, it is up to the parents to make sure that the child incorporates the positive emotions in his personality and stays away from the negative ones. A child needs both his parents, mother as well as father to develop his personality. An absentee father or someone who stays away from home for a long time, can have a negative influence on the child. To ensure that a child turns out to be a confident, positive person, there are some other things that parents should avoid, such as being too authoritative, trying to discipline the child in excess, scolding the child often, punishing him severely, criticizing the child, discouraging him, comparing him with others and giving preference to one child over the other one.

School Environment…
Besides the home environment, a child’s school environment too plays a major role in shaping a child’s personality. Once a child starts going to school, he learns how to interact and deal with his peers. He comes to know how to engage in “playing” according to the rules and regulations. He gets educated, learns how to read, write and communicate effectively. A child’s personality is greatly influenced by the way he is treated at school, both by his teachers as well as his peers.

Culture…
Influence of culture in personality and social development cannot be ignored too. For instance, a child brought up in western countries is taught to be individualistic and competitive, while children brought up in Asian, African and South American countries are taught to be cooperative.

According to psychiatrist Erik Erikson, there are various phases that a child passes through such as infancy, toddlerhood, preschool and school age. Each of these stages has it’s own share of problems and challenges, which a child has to overcome, with his parent’s assistance, to turn out to be a well developed personality.